Letting Go....

I've had some hard lessons in letting go throughout out my life but 2012 was certainly the year that the lesson repeated itself multiple times in a few different ways. I have been told that people come into your life not always to stay, they are apart of your journey to get you to the next stepping stone in life. They are either a blessing or a lesson.

I don't want it to seem that I don't feel blessed, I am, but I feel like I have been overwhelmed with lessons. Life is a constant lesson but I am hoping soon to be overwhelmed with blessings for a bit.

Letting go isn't just about love, it is;  loss of jobs, friends, family members, it comes in various life lessons and in 2012 I experienced a few.

Everyone is well aware of the "Prince not so Charming" returning to California.....

A few months after that finale I learned that my Manager whom was also a very close friend and mentor would be relocating back to California. I was shocked, I knew she had a promotion up in coming that was well deserved but I never thought that it would take her back to California. We shared tears, laughs and the silver lining was that she wasn't leaving the company, just Austin. I still get to see her when I am there for work or when she is in town for work and we definitely make the most of our time together when we get to see each other. Silver lining, she is still very much apart of my life and always will be but having to say goodbye and not have her here to be apart of my everyday was extremely hard.

As parents we always know there will come a day that our children will grow up and leave the nest and head off to college and start out on their journey in life. We build up to that moment, each day they are in high school helps prepare us for the moment they head off on their own.

It is not something I was prepared to ponder, think about or even talk about when my daughter was at the young age of 12. I noticed there was a change in her mood when I was picking her up at the end of her visit with her Dad. I asked her what was bothering her and she told me it made her sad to leave her brother and that she wanted to be able to spend more time with him. There is a 12 year age difference between the two of them and she knew that by the time she graduated high school he would be starting kindergarten and their lives would take them in two different directions.

So, we talked A LOT more about it and after a week or so she had made the decision to go live with her Dad so she could bond with her brother and build that relationship. In any decision I have ever made for her I have always tried to do what was in her best interest. Even though I knew I was going to miss her like crazy and it would definitely be an adjustment for us both, I felt like "letting her go" was the right thing to do. I did not want to be the one that stood in the way of her building that everlasting bond with her brother.

Although we have had rough days being apart there have been several silver linings; outside the obvious of her brother thinking she hung the moon and the stars and the relationship they share, M has excelled in school and has made huge strides academically and is doing the best she has ever done in her current school. She has the pleasure of having my parents next door and getting quality time with them. Although I have her less, the time I have with her on the weekends is more quality and we get to hang out and have fun together.

Not having her here will always be an adjustment but the sting of the pain is less.

Letting go is my least favorite lesson and I know that it is one that will always present itself but I hope that each time it does, the last lesson prepared me for the next one in line.

"After a while I looked in the mirror and realized... wow all those hurts, scars and bruises, after all those trials. I did it, I made it through. I straightened my crown and walked away like a boss"

Blessings,
Jen