What The Heck.....

Since the return of my blog I have blogged about things that have happened between then and now. I believe I have mentioned the most awkward, crazy and most disastrous stories.....

There were a few dates not worthy of mentioning and then there were times like when I was in HEB on the card aisle and a guy comes up to me and tells me how pretty I am and that I have beautiful feet and he would be more than happy to massage them, excuse me, did that just happen.

The time that I volunteered and a guy took the initiative to email me and ask me out, that resulted in two dates and him reaching out to hold my hand that sent me racing to my car because it was so uncomfortable, he wasn't the one. Note: always park in valet when you are unsure of the chemistry, much easier to leave without the awkwardness of him trying to kiss you.

Then there was the time that a guy asked me my bra size before even inquiring my last name, things that make you go hmmm...

The most recent experience is the one that leaves me wondering, what the heck, can anyone just be honest and say how they feel. I guess I understand someone that is 16, 17 or even 18 being nervous about saying "hey, I am just not that into you" - "I am just feeling anything."

We even have text now to soften the blow you don't actually have to speak to someone these days to tell them you aren't interested in them. I mean  in person or over the phone it is definitely better than just sending a text but I am here to say a text is better than nothing.

I hear all the time "women are confusing"  and maybe we are but Men are not an exception to this, they are just as confusing. I truly believe if people just said what was on their hearts and minds and communicated better there would be a lot less confusion and a lot less emotions running ramped in this world.

I met a guy in Nashville when I was attending a Recruiting conference who happened to live in Austin. Long story short we went to lunch had a great time, conversation flowed well. We decided to see each other again and made plans to go out when he returned from his business trip he was currently on.

So, when he returned he texted me, which was on a Thursday. We chatted and I told him that I didn't think he was interested in me, he told me "oh no, I am very interested I have just been really busy, I would love to see you again" I say "well that is refreshing to hear" He said "so how about we go to an early movie and then watch the sunset on my boat"   I know what your thinking- a movie date? HA! I was ok with this since we had gone to lunch and chatted prior to this date, I didn't feel it would be at all awkward.

This is where it gets confusing - he proceeds to tell me that he is not seeing anyone and that he doesn't have any plans too, that he would communicate well and he would like to see where things go. That was an extra nugget of information that he volunteered on his own and not prompted by anything I had said.

The next day, Friday, we text back and forth a few times.

The following day, Saturday (date night)- I get a text at 8:45AM "I woke up with a headache and throwing up, I think it is from all the traveling I have been doing. I am going to rest and I will let you know how I feel later. We might need to r/s for next weekend.

My BULLSHIT radar went off at that moment but not wanting to be the bitter women I can be from all these experiences, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Well, we were supposed to meet at 3pm and 11am, 1pm, 2pm, 3pm, 4pm and 5pm came and I didn't hear a peep. Thanks for getting back with me...

That is his way of communicating well, really?

That was about a month ago and I never heard from him again.

I hate the confusion of someone telling you that they are interested in you to only show you that they are not. I hate that people don't have enough respect to be honest and call or text and say what is going on. If you aren't  interested in someone you should at least be man or woman enough especially at the age of 38 to follow up and say how you feel.

I am finding there are not a lot of differences at dating at the age of 39 1/2  as there was at 18. Guy's are still very much interested in one thing. They still don't know how to communicate and most aren't very honest.

I am well aware that I am going to have to kiss a few frogs before I meet the right guy. Even through all of these experiences, confusion and disappointment, I know that the right guy is out there. I am proud of myself for saying no to what I am not ready for and not settling. Truth is I could be in a relationship if a relationship was all I wanted but all these life lessons have taught me to not settle and wait on the guy that is going to bring all the qualities I am looking for to the table.

In the meantime, if you hear anything from this post let it be that we all need to be honest with the people in our life about how you feel about them. Don't hold onto someone you don't love, respect them enough to let them go and let them find the someone that they are supposed to be with. Be all in our dont' be in it at all.

I usually have no problem not contacting someone that has walked away from me as I truly believe they were never meant to stay but after talking to one of my friends and joking around I did have the last word with the most recent guy. About 4 days after the day were were supposed to go out and the last time I heard from him I sent him the following message "You must be really sick since I haven't heard from you in 4 days. Hope you get better soon" - Again, peer pressure played a role in that text, it didn't make me feel better and no he didn't respond.

My cousin recently asked me where I was shopping? I think back in the day you could meet a nice man of God at church. Now a lot of the men at church are not men of God. I haven't met any of these guys in any bars as I don't hang out in bars. As I mentioned a few were through the online dating experience and the others - through friends, work events, HEB, volunteering.

I am going to get up everyday and live my life and I pray that one of those day's he crosses my path until then....


Blessings,
Jen